Sex is one of the few universal things in this world. We all do it. Heck even the birds and bees do it. But when it comes to movies and TV, sex can get… well kinda crazy. Our silver-screen heroes and villains can do it in space, underwater or hell even take it public and do it in the middle of the day in a busy Chinatown market. Here are our choices for the TOP 5 craziest movie sex scenes ever imagined and captured for our viewing pleasure across both movies and TV.
First up, we’ve got what might be the greatest puppet film ever put on to film – Team America: World Police. Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the crazy minds behind the South Park TV show really pulled out all the guns for this super violent and amazingly hilarious film. Not only did you probably never expect to see puppets doing the horizontal tango, but also who could have predicted just how over the top the scene would get. Gary and Lisa get to try out every twisted and inventive move and position ever devised, even indulging in pissing and defecating on each other. The best part however, might just be the way that they take it so seriously. Never once breaking character! Can you believe it?
4. Crank & Crank 2
Crank and well Crank 2 kind of have to share our fourth spot on this list. These films are just plain ridiculous and ludicrous fun to watch. Jason Statham stars as the nigh indestructible hitman Chev Chelios. The premise is simple; he’s been poisoned and has to keep his adrenaline levels high to keep him alive as he searches for an antidote. This set-up leads to some fantastic action sequences, each one more bonkers than the one before.
But all we care about is the sex scenes right… well they DO NOT disappoint. Moments from death in a busy china town market, Chev realizes the only chance he has is to get busy with his girlfriend (played by Amy Smart) right then and there. And get down he does – surrounded by a sea of Chinese shoppers, who all stop, stare and soon start cheering him on. This is a scene you just have to see to believe.
3. Buffy The Vampire Slayer – Smashed
For the next scene, we decided to go to television for a sex scene that brings the roof down… literally. The Avengers director Joss Whedon actually cut his teeth on a long running show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer starring Sarah Michelle Gellar. Sarah stars as Buffy, a young girl who has been gifted with supernatural strength to fight vampires and all manners of evil demons — of course any show with vampires needs to have sex in it right. And this scene does not disappoint, coming midway through the shows sixth season, it stars Buffy and fan favourite vampire — Spike.
The sexual tension between them has been building for over four seasons… and when fans finally got what they wanted… woah. The champagne bottle exploded so to speak. What starts out as a fight in an abandoned house, turns in to the kind of sex that only two super beings could withstand. They bring the entire damn house down! Seriously any normal person would have broken most of their bones or more likely have died. But hey, they had great sex so who are we to worry. Check out the scene for the latest in home renovation tips…
2. Shoot ‘Em Up
Number two on the list has to go to the 2007 film classic — Shoot ‘Em Up. Starring Clive Owen doing his best Bugs Bunny impression, as Mr. Smith, a gunman who saves a newborn infant from a never-ending onslaught of assassins. Mr. Smith teams up with a prostitute called DQ, played by the stunning Monica Bellucci, to protect his precious companion. It doesn’t take long at all for the two good-looking characters to get down to business in a stingy motel room.
Of course, the assassins track them down in the middle of their passionate motel floor screwing. Mr. Smith though is not a man to do things half-assed, he doesn’t break stride — pulling out a gun and dispatching the attackers, while still having sex. I mean, of course why not, its Monica Bellucci for gods sake, not even a team of killer assassins should stop you from enjoying some quality bunk time with her.
1. Gone Girl
And our final choice — has to go to one specific sex scene in David Fincher’s 2014 film, Gone Girl. Starring upcoming Batman, Ben Affleck and Rosamund Pike, the story follows a man whose wife’s disappearance leads to him being investigated for her murder. While there are a few sexy scenes throughout the film, including the delectable Emily Ratajkowski, the one that really stands out features Rosamund Pike and Neil Patrick Harris as Desi, her super controlling stalker/ex-boyfriend. This sexy scene apparently was a nightmare to shoot – requiring a grueling thirty-six takes.
If that wasn’t impressive enough, the shot took a week of choreography to prepare for, 36 sets of bed sheets, 450 gallons of blood and 36 pairs of underwear. Once you’ve seen the scene then this shopping list starts to make sense. The scene in question is probably the most infamous in the entire movie — not counting the quick shot of Affleck’s package of course. So it goes without saying that this sex scene includes a pretty major spoiler so watch at your own risk!
TOP 5 Craziest Sex Scenes – TV And Cinema’s Most Insane, Out-Of-This World Sex Scenes