Some weeks are just bad. You oversleep and show up late for work, the milk in the fridge is spoiled, your dog goes to the bathroom in your house and the movie you wanted to see is sold out. You know the drill. But this woman told the story of a week terrible enough to basically top all others. It’s almost impressive how absolutely awful the first week of May was for Imgur user onewomanriot.

Here’s a rundown of her shitty week, complete with pictures. You will be so happy this isn’t you. It’s a rough ride, so strap in.

Day 1

Story time! So I was at a conference last weekend, for which I was a coordinator, and on the Saturday at the dinner/dance I had 3 glasses of wine and blacked out (first time since my early 20s). Now, as a seasoned wine drinker, 3 glasses over 3 hours with dinner barely turns my crank, so let me tell you the shock I had when I came to on impact after I face planted and ate a nice helping of concrete. I only have flashbacks of the night, but one thing rings true- something was up.

Day 2

Day 2 – Yep! Turns out my B12s and iron were alarmingly low, and mixed with even a little bit of alcohol, made me drunk beyond belief. Those little red blood cell fuckers of mine weren’t doing their goddamn job of giving my brain oxygen, so down I went. Face first. Had to have emergency oral surgery to remove tooth fragments, my root, and a couple nerves. It was a mess, let me tell you.

Day 3

I couldn’t eat for 3 days, couldn’t brush my teeth, and could barely get water down. I’ll cut the sob story short, but this was also the climax of an incredibly challenging 3 months where work basically took over my life, I had draining obligations almost every evening/weekend, and had been pulling all nighters just to keep myself afloat. My bestie basically said that this happened for a reason to force me to slow down. It was a bad scene for a while, with no end in sight.

Now this is where things get more interesting. The president of the organization I was running the conference for (a volunteer professional association for women in my industry) called me and told me that they were suspending my membership. Now a little back story here: after I fell, I was in hysterics. Luckily the venue staff was around, but outside of that, I got very little support from anyone in the organization. They blamed the entire situation on irresponsible drinking and me being too drunk. Despite having medical proof that pre-existing conditions caused a reaction with alcohol that was completely unexpected, they just chalked it up to me being a lush. Well fuck them. To make matter worse, nobody decided to call an ambulance after the fall and nobody came to check on me in the morning. I was left to my own devices. Good thing it was only a tooth and not a concussion. Thankfully I have an amazing network of friends who were more than willing to step up and care for me over the past week, but really?! Kick me out? I can’t tell you how much time I put into preparing and executing that conference. Assholes.

Day 4

Day 4. As I mentioned above, work has been crazy. I was answering emails two hours after my surgery kinda crazy. Luckily I’ve been able to work from home, but still. I woke up the morning of this picture not to a text from my boss saying “hey, how are you doing?” but rather a “hey, what’s the status of this deliverable?” Silver lining- the pain meds were fun!

Day 5

Day 5: Still smiling!

Day 5 after a shower: so I had my post op appointment this day and the specialist joked that I must have Wolverine blood considering how fast I was healing. Too bad I’m not able to grow back my own tooth, but ????????‍♀️, I’ll take my good fortune where I can get it. Turns out that I have a couple complications from the fall and the tooth will eventually die and I’ll need an implant, but as of right now I can get away with a Cadillac of crowns (bc let me tell you, mama ain’t fucking around. It’s my front tooth!)

Anyway, I was making the most of it. I was catching up on work nicely with the lack of distractions at home, I was killing it with my current knitting project, and I was taking advantage of hiding out like a hermit by spring cleaning. I figured why not make lemonade? Well I woke up one morning with a couple nasty bug bites. Living downtown for over 10 years, in 5 different apartments, I knew this wasn’t just any bug bite…

Ladies and gentlemen, you are looking at a bed bug. So not only am I recovering from an injury, got unfairly ousted from an organization I was proud to be apart of, I now had to deal with this bullshit! For anyone who has ever dealt with bed bugs, you know it’s a pain in the ass. For those who haven’t, let me give you a little run down:

– All articles of clothing must be laundered and sealed, in either bags or airtight bins.

– All furniture must be two feel from the wall

– All closets and under sinks must be emptied and cleaned

– All light switches and electrical covers must be removed

– Boxspring and mattress must be leaned up against the wall

– All pets and persons must be vacated from the unit for 24 hrs.

The list goes on, but you get the jist. Again, thank god I have been able to work from home, giving me the time to get my shit together, but I’ve had to do all of this solo in two days.

Day 8

This is me today. Day 8. I have my second of 4 procedures tomorrow, but at least I get a temporary tooth so I can stop scaring children.

Whew. So that was her week. But wait! There’s an update!

New tooth!

Friend made homemade curry for me for dinner last night. She’s super sweet and I love her to death. To both of our surprise however (we clearly have very little experience in this whole fake tooth business), doesn’t the curry stain the tooth fluorescent fucking yellow! I HAD THE TOOTH FOR LESS THAN 4 HOURS AND I ALREADY MESSED IT UP! We both looked at each other, I said “well there’s the gold tooth everyone told me to get”, and we burst out in laughter. So I’m going to rock the budget gangster look until I get my permanent crown in two weeks.

After all of it, this is what she wanted people to know.

Anyway, there you have it guys. Thanks for listening to my rant. To be honest, even though this has been my worst injury to date, it actually hasn’t been the worst experience. I’ve had a lot of support and I’m lucky to have the tenacity to power through. There’s been some tears, but mostly just laughs at how fucking ridiculous this all has been. Like bed bugs?! Seriously universe? Timing is just bloody impeccable.

Now you’ve got some perspective next time you think you’re having a bad week!


Please wait...

And Now... A Few Links From Our Sponsors