THE UNTOLD TRUTHS OF GOLD RUSH
Viewers tune in season after season to watch the cast of Gold Rush live out their modern day forty-niner fantasies. But not everything they do makes it to the airwaves. A little panning reveals that they take this outdated, Old West profession and lifestyle of theirs way too seriously. Bring the canary in a cage, because we’re going into the mines to uncover the untold truth of Gold Rush.
KILLING BEARS WITHOUT CONCERNS
The Gold Rush boys don’t take kindly to any varmint crossing their path, not even bears. According to Fox News, a bear was needlessly killed during the show’s production back in May 2010. The troubles began when the bear stuck its nose in some untended graham crackers, and there’s no worse crime in the world than a bear sniffing at a man’s crunchy sweets. Shortly thereafter, with gun, pitchforks, and torches, miner Mike Halstead tracked the bear down and shot it dead. Though it was miles away from the mining site and probably wasn’t the same bear, justice had been served.
DESTROYING SALMON HABITATS
The miners don’t limit their war on the earth to just bears. They make sure to take out some kind of wildlife in every way possible. That’s why they made sure to drive a 50-ton piece of heavy equipment through a salmon habitat, The Oregonian reports. According to the miners, state laws allow them to drive their machinery through rivers and streams, it’s just unfortunate the fish got in their way. Fortunately for the miners, the fish were no match for the rig. By that tally, they’ve killed one large land animal and a water animal habitat, which means birds, your days are numbered.
THEY PRETTY MUCH DESPISE MOTHER NATURE ALTOGETHER
The Gold Rush guys have also taken their war on nature to the land itself. According to The Oregonian, they dug a trench to divert the course of a stream, most likely to provide water for their camp. It’s the one clear violation the gold rushers committed, as they failed to erect a screen to keep small fish from swimming into the ditch. Thus, they not only increased their fish kill count, but they possibly did irreparable damage to the local ecosystem as well. Go team gold!
PRODUCERS ARE DRAMA QUEENS
With all the acts of aggression against the earth, of course the miners have been visited by state representatives. However, reps weren’t there to dole out citations. Instead, one rep showed the miners how to use ground water, rather than diverting streams. That didn’t sit well with the Discovery Channel’s producers. According to regional habitat supervisor Jackie Timothy, the producers wanted a fine. The resulting kerfuffle would’ve provided them with some nice, free publicity for the show. Too bad for them things went well.
PARKER SCHNABEL IS A MILLIONAIRE
Though he pleads poverty on the show, Parker Schnabel is actually filthy rich. In 2015, Fox News reported that Schnable earned himself a million dollars during season five. A humble guy, he doesn’t think people should be too jealous of him. According to Schnabel, he’s in more debt than anyone else his age, yet he fails to supply any kind of numbers. Sounds like someone is hiding their gold.
“DAKOTA” FRED HURT TURNED ON HIS OLD PARTNERS
Mustachioed Gold Rush villain “Dakota” Fred Hurt was a show fixture from seasons one through four. Then, he mysteriously up and left the production and his co-workers, dragging his son with him. Some think he retreated to a hermetic life in the mountains. Others believe he was raptured. What really happened is, according to Gazette Review, Hurt bought up all the Porcupine Creek land, where all that sweet gold-digging action takes place, and told the Hoffmans and everyone else to shove off. He really put the Hurt on them.
HE ALSO QUIT THE SHOW BECAUSE OF MONEY
In addition to thinking he’d find more success on his own, Dakota Hurt also wanted more money from Discovery Channel. Hurt told the Gazette Review that “if [the channel wants] him to be an actor, they need to give him the amount of money an actor would get paid.” Rather than accept Discovery’s paltry scraps, Hurt went on to film his own pseudo-documentary series, All That Glitters, for the illustrious Who-Knows network because no airing information about the 2015 show could be found as of this writing. Here’s to hoping Hurt made the right choice.
JAMES HARNESS HAD A FATAL ADDICTION
Miner James Harness was a staple on Gold Rush for the first two seasons before he was fired for missing the 100-ounce goal set by the team. In his private life, Harness lived in constant pain caused by a car accident, which led to his addiction to painkillers, which in turn created Harness’ problems on the show. Unfortunately, his hardships didn’t end once he was let go from the production. Harness’ addiction eventually resulted in the stroke that killed him in 2014, as reported by TMZ. The Discovery Channel has yet to turn this painful, personal struggle into a show of some kind.
PARTS OF THE SHOW ARE SCRIPTED
Lo and behold, like with most reality shows, Gold Rush isn’t as real as promotions would have you believe. In an interview he gave to Oregon Gold, fired miner Jimmy Dorsey stated that parts of the show are scripted, and some surprising events on the show are planned in advance. According to Dorsey, both getting his ribs broken in episode six and his leaving the show resulted from the machinations of Discovery Channel. He went on to say, “They kind of push you towards, making these things happen.” Apparently, the producers have mastered the Jedi mind trick.
TODD HOFFMAN HAS HIS DEMONS
In the same interview, Dorsey also airs his feelings about his former boss, Todd Hoffman. Saying he’s a troubled man, Dorsey claims Hoffman tossed aside friends and family in the pursuit of fame and fortune, even to the point where he has no problem with others sustaining injury. Dorsey affirms that a particular on-camera howling he received from Hoffman was not scripted at all. It was pure Hoffman. He also went on to say Hoffman is uneducated in the ways of mining, but ultimately, Dorsey feels sorry for Hoffman. At least he finally found something nice to say about him.
PEOPLE KEEP DISAPPEARING FROM THE SHOW
Probably the most disturbing thing about Gold Rush is that miners leave without any further mention, almost as if they were never there at all. Jason Otteson, Fred and Dustin Hurt, and Michael Halstead all disappeared from the show, without a single cast member commenting on their departures, which suggests two things. One, the scripting on this reality show is shoddy at best. Two, these gold miners are really some kind of secret cult. Once a member leaves, they sever all ties with that person. Just what Hollywood needs, another cult.