UPDATE: THAT 21-YR-OLD IN JAIL IN NORTH KOREA FOR STEALING A POSTER WAS SENTENCED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE THE SEVERITY
Otto Warmbier’s life just changed forever. The 21-year-old undergraduate at the University of Virginia was recently sentenced to 15 years hard labor in North Korea for…wait for it…dun, dun, dun…drum roll, please…STEALING A SIGN. Not just any sign, though, it was a sign with a political slogan on it that was located at the Yanggakdo International Hotel.
So…what you’re saying is he did the North Korean equivalent of taking a campaign sign out of someone’s front yard? Well, now his 15 year punishment of hammering rocks makes total sense. What heinous, disgusting crime.
Not only was Warmbier eventually found guilty, but on February 29th, he “confessed” to his wrongdoing on live television. It wasn’t just any confession, though. It was something out of goddamn comic book or terrible spy movie. You be the judge, but his confession sounds like it was hand fed to him by Kim Jong-un.
The entire confession is OUT THERE, but around the 21-minute mark things get extra hilarious when he claims that he practiced stealing signs in America to prepare himself to commit this “pre-meditated” crime in North Korea.
That was brutal to watch. To Warmbier’s credit, he kept his composure and handled it pretty well given the circumstances. And if he was actually telling the truth and his confession wasn’t written by one of Kim Jong-un’s TOP MEN, then maybe he needs to spend the next 15 years in North Korea just to think about how stupid and ridiculous his crime and reason for committing it was. That said, I don’t think there was any truth to his words, especially once he spewed high praise of how well North Korea has been treating him since he’s been in captivity. Kim Jung-un murders his own friends for breathing the wrong way, no shot he is keeping an American criminal in “hotel-class guest house.”
Moral of the story: Never go to North Korea. Ever.