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WindWind2

Yeah, boss? I’m going to take tomorrow off, and I’ll need a new set of shorts.

FedEx delivery men and women have a lot to worry about on a daily basis. I mean, there’s dropping off packages in a timely manner, making sure they’re leaving them in a safe place, hoping nobody steals their truck, hoping to make it through the day without getting bit by a dog, hiding behind vending machines as an EF-3 tornado destroys the hardware store where you just made a delivery — wait, what?

Kyra Johnson was filling in last week for a driver who apparently had the good fortune of breaking his leg earlier in the month when a tornado ripped through the small Louisiana towns of Assumption Parish and Paincourtville. At least 45 homes were completely destroyed, and it looks as though you could say the same thing about Sagona’s True Value Hardware.

Johnson said that after she realized the store’s doors were locked, she sought refuge between “a Coke machine and the wall.” Moments later, the majority of store was blown to shit, but Johnson somehow still had a pulse and was able to walk away from the damage.

“Jesus saved me,” Johnson said. “I just kept saying, ‘God please don’t let me go,’ and he didn’t.”

In a related story, Jesus apparently doesn’t give a crap about hardware stores.

SEE HOW CLOSE THIS FEDEX DRIVER CAME TO GETTING SWEPT AWAY BY A TORNADO

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