WEIRD NEWS: NAKED OREGON MAN WALKS INTO WOMAN’S HOME, SAYS ‘HI, HONEY’ AND THEN FALLS OFF CLIFF
If you would have bet Gail Wilson a million dollars before last Saturday that a naked man would one day walk into her house, say hello and then fall off a cliff while he was being chased by cops, odds are she would have taken that bet.
And she would have lost.
According to the East Oregonian, that’s exactly what happened to Wilson last Saturday as she sipped soup at her Pendleton home. It ended a short while later when officers were forced to rescue a naked Stephen Burton as he dangled from a tree at the bottom of a cliff.
“I thought, ‘This is it, I’m going to be raped or murdered,'” Wilson said after the 30-year-old butt-naked man walked into her house. “I’d more or less accepted my fate. Today was my day. But I wasn’t going to let him take me gently.”
Suffering from muscular dystrophy, Wilson had to wait for Burton to get closer before she could push him away. After doing so, Burton then sat on Wilson’s scooter for a few minutes before taking one of her dogs into one of her bedrooms.
God knows what Burton was doing to that poor pooch, but Wilson seized the opportunity and called 911. The operator asked Wilson to get the man’s name, but when she asked him, Burton became mad and ran out of the house just as police arrived.
A short chase ensued but ended after Burton jumped a fence, fell down a cliff and got caught “hanging upside down from a tree by his ankle.” He was arrested and charged with burglary, harassment, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.
The only thing left to do now? You guessed it: Scrub the hell out of that scooter seat.