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Wife Finds Out Her Husband Has The Most Disgusting, Repulsive Fetish Of All Time, Asks The Internet For Help

 

If the idea of watching a woman punch out a tot and seeing that kid’s head crown as it…okay, I’m going to stop there. That’s fucking gross. I can’t even make it through an entire sentence of just describing childbirth without having to reel it in, which just goes to show how disgusting a child-birthing fetish is. My tolerance for repulsive shit is through the roof but even I have lines I can’t cross: eating testicles, licking mold, basically anything that’s Fear Factorlevel +1 is out of my league.

But this is a whole new level. Redditor sodisgusted198 posted the following story looking for advice on what to do after discovering her husband’s…”unique” fetish (bolding ours):

I am about to have our first child and everything has been fantastic, he’s gone with me to the birthing classes, he’s redone our guest room almost entirely by himself. Even though I’m used to being 105 lbs and very athletic, he’s been very supportive of my changing body and helping me through morning sickness and bed rest. But I feel like a fool.

I found his activity on a pregnancy fetish forum that he’d minimized. That he has a fetish in itself isn’t as disturbing as him detailing how he hopes birth will go (hint: he’s turned on by crowning and by a woman struggling to push). I couldn’t even read it all, I got so sick to my stomach when I saw that. He had previously hoped to video tape everything and I am so angry that I don’t want him even in the hospital.

He was supposed to come with me to a doctor’s appointment tomorrow but I told him I did not want him to come with me anymore. We didn’t argue but I know he’s not happy and will fight me on it if I say I don’t want him to come next visit.

I am so upset and I feel like he is cheapening this experience. Like he’s not even the same man he was yesterday. I don’t feel like he is in this to support me but to get turned on. I feel like his excitement to be a dad is secondary to his excitement to bank our son’s birth for spank material later.

I have tried to tell my sister, who I trust more than my husband at this point, to get it out and to get some support but I can’t bring myself to say the words. I don’t know what to do.

TLDR my husband gets off to the gorey, humiliating parts of labor. I didn’t know that. Now I don’t want him to have anything to do with my pregnancy and I’m feeling sick and heartbroken. This was supposed to be a bonding experience for us and it turns out he is aroused half the time.

The best piece of advice she got was actually pretty decent…

 

…but the discussion she had with her husband afterwards took this thing to a whole other level of WTF:

I wrote my husband a note because I wanted him to have time to read and process, much like I did here. I had planned to leave the note where he would get it when he got home Friday and could privately collect himself, and then we’d talk when I got home. But Thursday night I woke up to him masturbating at 2 am (NO I DID NOT LOOK!!!) and I became internally hysterical. I didn’t say a word, I just gave him the note and left the house. So he had to think about this shit all day at work which is what I didn’t want. It took us until this morning to reconvene.

What I wrote, verbatim:

“I love you very much and I know you are excited to be a dad. We have both prepared a lot for what is about to happen. Parenting is complicated and full of joint decisions and I need your help to arrive at one now.

I recently came across a web site you left up. I saw quite a bit, but likely not everything. Your participation in an online fetish community, specifically where you give detailed descriptions of me and about certain elements of birth being arousing to you, has me feeling uncomfortable. I know it was you and I know you were talking about me.

Please don’t try to cover this up. I understand you may not be comfortable talking about this but in light of how little time we have before our son comes, we need to be honest with each other. I want to talk about this. I want to know when you started enjoying these types of things and what of your fantasy you may hope converges with real life during my labor.”

We do have some common ground. We both find the idea of birth terrifying and humiliating. Unfortunately, he stated that humiliation and degradation is almost a requirement for his arousal in general, not just in this birth scenario. He typically thinks of these things during any sex we usually have and this does color his preferences in how I behave/how vocal I am/positions he likes. He stated that a lot of what appeals to him can’t actually happen, though, like actually having sex with me while I give birth and being able to feel my contractions with his dick. He imagines birth being orgasmic for me but unbearably painful at the same time, which he also doesn’t think will happen. So there is an element of impossibility around all of it which suggests to me maybe he won’t be super fulfilled by reality.

He said he was in the room when his mother gave birth to his brother (he would have been five or maybe six). He remembered being terrified of what was happening to her and he was upset about it for a long time and never told anyone. Several years later, he watched the movie Alien, and the belly bursting scene left him feeling things he knew nobody else was experiencing. He has played into this fetish more and more since that time. Alien abduction/impregnation is also a fantasy.

I asked him if he felt there was a conflict of interest between what he feels about what I’m going to go through and the comforting role I had expected him to fulfill. He said he wasn’t sure (meaning he didn’t know if he’d feel aroused or not but has been interested to find out. He used the word interested, not hopeful, not anticipation). I asked him if he thought he was going to be upset seeing me like his mom, maybe feeling terrified (which would also make me feel like I couldn’t depend on him and I’d be worrying about how he is doing) like when he was a boy. Also not sure.

I told him that while I understand his reluctance, I feel he should have shared this with me, even a little at a time, since it is such a large part of his sex life, and so am I. I hate the way and the time I found out about it. He must come to therapy with me if we want to remain together, and I hope we will, as we have just started a family. I don’t have much hope for him being at the birth. He said his first goal was to support me. I explained to him that I am afraid of having a baby and that I know it will hurt the worst I’ve ever had anything hurt but unlike him, no part of this arouses me even in the abstract and it hurts my feelings to know he’s been fantasizing about me in such a position when I am so afraid of it. I asked if he was afraid of something and the fear was enough that it kept him up at night and then I turn around and laugh or make light of it, if that would make him upset. He said yes. I said I didn’t want him to enjoy something that upset me either, even if his enjoyment was a different kind.

I asked him if supporting me is still his #1 priority if my idea of his support and his idea do not look the same (as in, he thinks he can support me best at the bedside, while I feel entirely uncomfortable with that). He was upset when he saw where the conversation was going. The more we talked, the less he had to say, so my current plan is probably more okay with me than with him… but I also explained to him that neither of us are going to get the birth we thought we’d have and that is not his fault or mine. I am sure we will hash this out more in therapy.

He stated he would go to therapy with me only if our therapist was a man and that he had to feel comfortable with the man. I guess I’m fine with that. Therapists are supposed to be unbiased, right? He is of the opinion that I want to change him… if you look at it in black and white then I guess I do, but I would be okay with toning down some of this for him and toning some of it up for me.

I am feeling less betrayed as I see that my husband is a bit bewildered by his fantasies, even though he’s had them forever basically. He stated that he was “laying it on thick” when he wrote out his fantasy and that indulging in something that can’t happen is all he was doing. I said that looking at pictures and reading others’ experiences or fantasies are okay with me but I do not want him sharing fantasies. I consider the two-way sharing to be going too far and I said in no way was he to report back of what happened in our birth if he participates in any sense. I do not agree to having him sexualize the birth, or other people on his forum doing that. He acknowledged that he would be upset if I were getting off by telling other people my sex fantasies and they were commenting and building on them, but he was adamant it was different because the world “caters” to my sexual tastes and not his so I have more outlets. I didn’t know what to say about that, I didn’t want to say “well you’re weird, I can’t help that.” But honestly I am also a bit angry with him about something else now. I’ve mentioned a couple of times I’d love him to wear eyeliner for me. He has never done it and finds it “gay” despite the fact that he’d be putting his dick in his wife. He’s not okay with that, he would feel humiliated! But I am supposed to be okay with all this. Anyway that’s another thing we will discuss in therapy.

He did not admit to using birth videos as fap materal, but he has watched them on youtube outside of what we watched together so even if he said no, I am thinking he has done this, and probably long before we ever planned our son. He has many in his history. I did snoop but I just got the overview, I didn’t hunt down and record his activity, I don’t plan to crucify him (and there’s already so much I can’t unsee). I almost suggested that I would be willing, while still pregnant, to roleplay this with him if he would enthusiastically agree to be in the lobby during birth but… I feel that may be damaging to me at this point as I’m super scared of birth already. Maybe we can revisit this idea in therapy too, but after our son is born.

Did you read through all of that? If so, then you and I are hopefully on the same page:

 

I think I’m done internetting for today.

 

 

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