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WOMAN STABS HUSBAND FOR NOT BRINGING DOUGHNUTS HOME | Chaostrophic
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WOMAN STABS HUSBAND FOR NOT BRINGING DOUGHNUTS HOME

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Unless it was one of those Boston Kreme pastries from Dunkin’ Donuts, then it’s safe to say she overreacted.

According to The Smoking Gun, a 37-year-old New Albany woman was arrested and charged with aggravated battery last week after she stabbed her husband when he returned home without doughnuts for her.

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Police said Michelle Nelson was upset that her husband Timothy “did not know what else she liked after being together for several years,” so she stabbed him in the chest with a BBQ grill fork Friday morning. Timothy was eventually able to escape their house and was seen running down the street with his wife “following him and still yelling at him.”

When police arrived on the scene, they found Timothy soaked in blood and applying pressure to the stab wound while sitting against a tree. He was treated at a local hospital and should make a full recovery.

It’s toss-up as to which lack of knowledge ultimately led to Timothy’s downfall, not knowing his wife’s fallback choice of doughnuts after being together for several years, or the fact that he didn’t know that his wife was a raging lunatic who was capable of stabbing him with a tool used for turning over steaks.

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