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Women Are Getting Designer Nipples So They Can Have Permanent ‘Pokies’

Sometimes I’m really glad that I’m a woman. Sometimes I’m not. For example, women are seeing and wanting Kendall Jenner’s nipples and not the nipples they were born with,  “yeah, that’s what perfect nipples look like.” NO. At no point did it ever occur to me to print out some pictures of a celebrity’s nips, head to a cosmetic surgeon and say “I need you to make my nips look like this here.”

But this is apparently a thing women have been doing with Kendall Jenner’s nipples. In a video interview with The New York Post, plastic surgeon Dr. Norman Rowe explained that more and more women are coming to him to get the perfect nipple, which right now means injecting the nipple with a filler to make it stay hard and poke out for the next two years.

“My nipples never get hard,” complained one New Yorker, a 28-year-old hoping to walk away with breasts like Kendall Jenner. Lucky for her, designer nipples are popping up all over New York. Dr. Norman Rowe, a Park Avenue plastic surgeon, says many of his female patients want that “high beam or headlight look.” Procedures at Rowe’s office, which include Botox fillers injected into the areola, start at $700 and could last up to two years of perkiness.

 

“I think it would be really cool to just have protruding nipples all the time,” says one patient in the video, who has put way more thought into her nipples than is really necessary. She goes on to say “So, yeah, just to be able to constantly feel like a woman with my proud protruding nipples would be amazing.” I have bad news for her, my nipples do the same thing, are they’re neither proud nor feminine.

Dr. Rowe explains that he “specialize(s) in the designer nipple, a term that I coined,” which seems like the sort of thing you should be arrested for. He explains he can change the shape, size and color of the nipple and the areola, at which point him not being in a straight jacket seems odd, honestly.

Honestly, this is not the craziest thing I’ve heard women doing to look a certain way. That would be Gwyneth Paltrow steam cleaning her vagina, which is somewhat weirder than getting caulk injected into your nipple so it pokes out when you walk around without a bra.

This nipple surgery costs $700, by the way, and that’s on the low-end. You could lay out a bunch more if you’re looking for the full Sienna Miller treatment. You can also get the same look for free with an ice cube.

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