Woody Allen Thinks He Should Be The Face Of #MeToo

Woody Allen Thinks He Should Be The Face Of #MeToo


That’s one strategy! Get people to temporarily forget the child-raping allegations against you by making them laugh their brain parts out of their ears by saying that you, Woody Allen, have such a clean record of not molesting actresses that you should be the face of the #MeToo movement. The only movement Woody should be the face of is a bowel movement, but I digress….

When the gates of #MeToo opened and out came the zillions of stories about powerful Hollywood creepers terrorizing women and men, the allegations by Dylan Farrow against Woody came back up. Dylan wondered why Hollywood hadn’t turn their backs on the dehydrated turtle turd she claims abused her when she was a child. Woody stamped LIES on those allegations again. Actors who worked with Woody started taking sides. Colin Firth spit at the idea of working with Woody again while Diane Keaton and Javier Bardem declared their support for him. Woody did an interview with Argentinean news show Periodismo Para Todos (via CNN), and not only did he shake his head no again at the allegations that he sexually abused his adopted daughter, he also mouth shat up a ten mile-long river of delusion by saying that he should be used as an example by the #MeToo movement of a director who hasn’t touched a woman wrong.

Woody burped up a “Woe Is Woody” dingle by saying that he doesn’t think it’s fair how his name is mentioned in the same breath as the likes of Harvey Weinstein.

“You root for them, you want them to bring to justice these terrible harassers, these people that do all these terrible things. And I think that’s a good thing. What bothers me is that I get linked in with them. People who have been accused by 20 women, 50 women, 100 women of abuse and abuse and abuse. And I, who was only accused by one woman in a child custody case, which was looked at and proven to be untrue, I get lumped in with these people.”
Then Woody’s shoulder nearly popped out of its socket from him patting himself on the back for being a hero to actresses.
“I feel when they find people who harass innocent women and men, it’s a good thing that they’re exposing them. But you know I, I should be the poster boy for the #MeToo movement because I have worked in movies for 50 years. I’ve worked with hundreds of actresses and not a single one — big ones, famous ones, ones starting out –have ever, ever suggested any kind of impropriety at all. I’ve always had a wonderful record with them.”
“Is that fucking so?” is probably the line that just slipped out of the mouth of Mariel Hemingway who accused Woody of trying to get into her barely legal chonies.
Imagine having your head so far up your ass that you think you’re some Time’s Up hero for being accused of raping only one girl. But seriously, Woody has a point. And the next time the #MeToo movement has a march, they should carry hero Woody through the streets of NYC… and just when they get to the East River, they should “accidentally” trip, throwing him in.

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